Guilt versus Remorse
Is there a difference between the two? Here’s my take on it and its relevance to self-reflection. Guilt is usually associated with a persons actions. Regardless of the outcomes or surrounding circumstances, a person may feel guilt for living a certain lifestyle, or for some act that they have done in the past. In contrast, remorse is a negative feeling brought by the reaction, response or outcome of a person’s actions.
The reason why we should examine the difference between the two is when we look at our lives and try to implement change for the better, it is best that we understand our actions, where they come from and how they affect us emotionally. This will put us in a better state of mind to successfully evoke personal growth.
Meet Terrie, she has been a weekend drinker for over ten years. She get’s through her week by looking forward to her weekend drinking, or “partying” as she refers to it. Read more
Ending Friendships – I just lost one
Lay with dogs, you will rise with fleas. Birds of a feather flock together.
“Your child is just running with the wrong crowd.” School counselors say this to the parents of all 8 kids to make the parents feel as if their child is not bad, but are influenced by “bad” kids. Yeah right.
If you think that peer pressure will influence you to make different decisions, you should be really careful in selecting your friends. Instead of choosing friends by their looks, status or commonalities, you may want to consider looking deeper at who they are and select people who are more like who you want to be tomorrow rather than who you are today. I’m not saying get too far out of your comfort zone, but if you are trying to move away from substance abuse, shallow or immoral activities and focus on being more financially, spiritually or intellectually successful, you may want to consider holding your friend selection to a higher standard.
You may need to cut people out of your life or at least out of your favorite 5 if they are holding your progress back. Often time’s people unintentionally do things to sabotage your goals; you may need to dump them out of your boat before you sink. Be careful, thoughtful and methodical with cleaning out your boat. This transition can be very trying in the short term, yet liberating in the long run. Friendships can be just as important as they can be debilitating. Some people’s seasons pass and you may need to grow beyond what they have to offer. Read more
Recovering ass-a-holic
As I follow this site and read and think about the latest articles on self-reflection I just realized that one of the reasons I smoke weed and have booty calls is because I don’t like to be alone with my thoughts. I’ve tried to meditate like you suggested, but I can’t stop thinking about the areas of my life that I am messing up on. So instead of meditating I pick up a joint or the phone. I thought I did those things because I liked getting high and having sex (especially at the same time), but I think I do those things to hide from the ass hole that I really am. That’s a deep and harsh reality to face. I wonder if you have any advice on where I should go from here since you are the one that made me realize this fact.
Signed, Ass hole
Dear Ass hole, let’s first of all change your name to Recovering ass-a-holic, to memorialize the fact that you’ve acknowledged a phase in your life, and you are committing to moving beyond the limits of that phase. Read more
If God came for you tonight
If God woke you up at midnight tonight and said “come with me my child”, what thoughts would race through your mind? He may notice the look of fear brought by the incomplete work you have here on Earth. Then he’d say to you, “My child get a pen and paper, pick the 5 most important people in your life, and write them each a letter. If you need, tell them what you neglected to tell them. If you need, ask them for forgiveness and understanding of your personal deficits. If you need, express your yearnings of their lives. If you need, tell them how you really feel about them.
With an hour of feverish written expression as your tears first fog your vision then drench the pages, you search for the words to express what you thought you had a lifetime to communicate. Life is not guaranteed, time is forever, but your time is only a blink. What do you express?
I promise
Throughout the past year I have had many victories, struggles and challenges. I’ve written my feelings for the world to see and express their thoughts. This site is full of promises that I’ve made. I often times read past entries and am reminded of my path, we are so easily distracted. If I fall short of those promises I can’t ignore my past commitment because it is just a www. away. It’s not like a new years resolutions that you’ve forgotten by March, so what, “keep the cycle of shortcoming going.”
This site is not mine, regardless of the address name. It is ours; it is our community of communing. So I thought, there are commentators and anonymous article writers, why not allow them the forum to hold their selves accountable to the truth or lies that they tell themselves?
I’m very doubtful that anyone out there is bold enough to step up publicly, but if there are, I ask that you post a paragraph here that expresses a promise to yourself or someone you love. If you are really bold, use your real name and email your love ones this link, if that’s a bit too much, use an alias.
Sometimes we need to speak things into existence. Our tongue shall put it on the wind so it will return to us and propel us forward during the storm.
SPIRITUAL GROWTH PLAN
We sometimes get complacent or comfortable with our lot in life. We settle in in order to reduce stress or emotional fluctuations. But what I’ve found is that regardless of which road we take, rather it be the high road, the low road, the easy road or the dark road; we will never avoid heartache, pain and challenges. These negative things are a part of life. As long as we are living we will have such adversity. There is no getting around it.
So when we look down at our dash board and GPS as we decide which way to set our turn blinker, know that there is beauty and ugly in every path. This planner is my way of reminding myself that I want and need to be a ever growing strong vessel regardless of my chosen path. This personal growth is a focal point because it not only will build my strength to endure, but it will eventually help me make better decisions prior to trouble.
So if you feel as if you have not moved in a while, be irritated to action. No matter how old you get, or how wise you may think you are, you only can prove wisdom by the continuity of your search.
1. Read all of Proverbs and Psalms by November 1st
2. Watch no more than 3 hours of TV Monday through Thursday
3. Leisurely book reading 5 hours per week
4. Write for reflection or work on novel 7 hours per week
5. Cut out red meat consumption Sunday through Thursday
6. Drink ample water daily
7. Run 6 miles per week
8. Each Saturday noon, call a family member to catch up and tell them I love them
9. Do not allow 48 hours to pass without meditating by sitting with my eyes closed, fingers in my ears, listening to my body live and reflecting on life and health not taken for granted
10.Love myself
Make your list, make 4 copies of your list and laminate them on a business card size paper. Put one in your wallet, one on your bathroom mirror, one on your computer monitor and one in your car. In the words of Michael Jackson, “Make that change”
“My mama said I was not built to break”
From the top of fame mountain to the freebase lows of cocaine addition, with God on her side she emerges towards victory over what could have took her from us. On the path but with a distance to go, when asked by Oprah Winfrey, Do you think you’ll ever be tempted [to drugs] again?
“I can only take today, one day at a time”.
We are praying for you Whitney, we need to lift all of our queens so they may in turn lift our image and our spirits.
Why are things that taste so good, so bad for you?
From super sized McDonalds to the sweet fruit of the vine that temped Eve. The nectar of lust is the sweetest flavor of all, yet the potential for damage matches its appeal. The high of a needle, puff, snort or sip has the potential to be detrimental or deadly to your natural or spiritual existence.
We are expected to live in the middle. Not too low, and not too high. Not too sweet, not too sour. Not too fast, but not too slow. God promises riches if we abide by his rules. This I believe, yet it is the sensitivity of the palate that 
determines riches. Once you get that first fix, that second taste, that third rush, your palate will crave the wave of ecstasy that the wind in your face presents. The recklessness of the role of the dice, the click of the chamber as the barrel rest on your temple is what is so addictive. Read more
Thank you to my readers for your love-words of encouragement
Thank you all for all the comments, emails and text messages. The messages were all reassuring. I’m most delighted that there is a community that assembles to interact on topics covered here. This verifies my thought that there is a need for an accessible outlet to the personal struggles that are so common, yet commonly silenced.
How do I deal with the fact that I may be addicted, I may have a destructive pattern, I may have self-hate, I may need help with the battles of my mind. Here is a place that I hope we can openly communicate and personally reflect on how we operate in this world.
For the love that I’ve received, for the passion that I have within, I have decided to continue on. I’ll write, please respond. Thank you all so much.
May we all be understood, forgiven and healed
