Finance 105 – I’d rather be the son that can, than the son that can’t

In many developing countries they believe in having many children to work the fields as well as provide for the parents in their elder years.  Our western, industrialized country has Social security and retirement plans that reduce elders reliance on their adult offspring for support.  Yet as many of us know, this is not always the case.  Many Americans work all of their lives somewhere within the middle class, but due to a lack of planning or financial wherewithal, retire poor and die broke. 

 

Many of us are stuck between two dependent generations.  As we strive to do better than our parents and take a leap that we hope they support and encourage, we have to balance providing for our children as well as our elders all while trying to accumulate a comfortable life for ourselves.   

 

Siblings often fight over who will and can do what is needed to support their aging parents.  This is a very emotional situation that can really strain relations between all involved.  If you have the means and the insight to break this cycle that has haunted us since slavery, you may be expected by family members to do more simply because you can do more.  The ability is a great thing to have, but parting with hard earned cash is such sweet sorrow.  Especially when you are one of 5 siblings and you have to come up with most of the financial assistance. 

 

The cost of healthcare and medications can choke people with substantial resources.  As pharmaceutical companies continue to develop the next fix with no cures in sight, this problem will continue to grow.  No matter how well we plan, it may be inconceivable that our drug expense will be our second highest expense.

 

Personally, as the only son of my mother, as well as being a financial advisor with relatively good health practices, it was extremely frustrating to watch my mother ignore my financial advice while she earned a well above average income.  It was extremely frustrating for me to watch her health slip as she made no effort to improve her health consciousness.  Please forgive my reluctance to support her $50 per month cigarette habit.   I would not poison myself, why contribute to poisoning her? 

 

 

My friends that come from wealthy families have a different concern. They worry about getting gifts and support from their well off parents to subsidize the lifestyle they are accustom to.  They are less concerned with supporting their parents and more concerned with their parents not spending all of their wealth before they die.  Siblings fighting over dads’ estate is an even bigger fight.  If I had to chose between the two evils, I’d rather my kids fight over my estate rather than who is going to buy dads next box of Depends and Ensure.  But all of my money, if any is left, will be going into a Trust for my great-grand children’s college fund. 

 

The moral of this story is to manage your money properly so that you don’t turn into a burden on your adult children as they try to provide for their families.  By the time the baby boomers get through with Social security, it’ll be all up to your personal savings account.