My Table of Contents of raising children

As my children grow into adulthood, I find that I’ve been slipping a bit on my parental responsibilities to give them the perspective they need.  I have to go back to the basics, so the republishing of this article is to serve as a reminder.

 

I’ve created a table of contents page.  This lists in a systematic order, all the things I want to expose my family to.  It took me a while to get the current table, there were many revisions as I discovered subjects that I wanted my family to address.  The beauty of my plan is that it can be implemented by anyone without conflict in subject matter due to the fact that the parents create the categories.  Hence, each family creates this table of contents according to their values and beliefs.  To start parents should discuss with trusted relatives and friends for their input on creating a list.  The parents should take a sheet of paper and brainstorm on what important topics and experiences should they expose their children to.     

 

Once you have a table of contents, take it and make it the first page in a three ring binder.  Give each of your children their own three ring binder.  The parents use the list as a reminder, and periodically ask the children to write about a recent experience that the family has shared.   Their age is irrelevant outside of beginning the binder at around 7 to 9 years old.  If they are very young, allow them to draw a picture of what they remember. 

 

As the family has similar experiences at different times of their youth, their writing will be placed in the binder in an orderly fashion, the most recent fall behind the older ones.  They may witness their progressive advancement.  You may have to assist the children in organizing the binder according to the order stated on the table of contents that you created.  This will teach them organizational skills.  Eventually they will be able to keep the order themselves. 

 

These binders will turn into a way to cultivate ideas, thoughts and discussions.  I’d suggest you make a rule to never read your kids folders, except when they agree to share an entry with the family for discussion.  This will eliminate the pressure to write what you want to hear and reduce room for dissatisfaction.  The hopes are that if done sparingly enough, they will take pride in their writing and maybe even write in it without your suggestion. 

 

When they become parents they can do the same with their children and have their own binder to discuss with their children what they wrote when they were a child.  This promotes understanding and makes the communication more effective.  See my Table of Content below.   

  

  

Harris Balanced Family Life Plan
For Clarity, Focus, Balance & Confidence in every aspect of life

 
I Personal
  Health
  Happiness
  Wellbeing
  Leadership

II Family virtues
  Traditions
  Holidays/Birthdays
  Family Time
  Family Meals
  Events
  Family Emotional Support
  Encouragement – belief in each other
  Mutual respect – listen for understanding

 III Friends and socializing
  Who are your friends and why
  Who is no longer your friend and why
  What kind of friend am I
  Peer pressure
  Boy-Girl relationships

 III Intellectual pursuit
  Traditional Education
  Family wisdom, passing of learned experiences

 IV Spiritual Growth
  Who is God
  Different religions
  What I think

 V  Financial
  Banking accounts
  Assets over Liabilities – Balance sheet w. Equity
  Managing wants vs. needs
  Asset accumulation, Credit score & Net worth

 VI Civic Assets
  The roll of Government, and how to effectively participate
  Understanding and respecting personal fortune
  Giving to those less fortunate in an effective way
  Understanding how economics impact sub-cultures
  Understanding how sub-cultures impact economics