Women feel resolve by simply talking about it
Why do men clam up, go into their cave and refuse to talk about a pressing issue? I feel that if men don’t feel as if a resolution can be accomplished by talking about an issue immediately, then he is not compelled to talk at that moment. To discuss an issue with no prospects of resolution is crippling to the average man. We scratch our heads, run to the bat cave or to the local watering hole as women sprain their ankle in hot pursue chasing us “let’s talk, can we just talk about it!?”
I believe women often don’t need to seek a resolution to an issue in order to begin a heated debate. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the simple taking the time and effort to address each other’s issues is more than enough to bring relative peace in the hearts of women. I’ve often times found myself fighting off romantic advances at the end of a heated debate that to my estimation ended with no resolution. So excuse me if I’m not feeling playful after that interrogation. Yet she feels free and quite the opposite.
So there appears to be a sense of resolution for a women where men sit in total dissatisfaction and discomfort. The question is, should men appease the conversation despite his perception of a potential deadlocked outcome? Maybe if we do attempt to find the words to communicate, it will place us in a much better situation than just grabbing the car keys and running for the door.
you got it right at the end, if you (as in “men”) just attempt to participate and find the words to communicate, all will be well! there’s no need for an arguement or a major discussion. sometimes, a simple, heart to heart is all we need.
If she asks you a question that you know she will not be able to handle the correct answer, do you lie? Some people tend to ask questions that they are not ready for. Some people want to know the truth, no matter how much it hurts. They want to know the intimate details, but is that really helping their healing? Some people already know the truth, but they want to see your mouth moving as you confess. Will that make them feel better? What will they do with the truth, leave, find strength?
It is amazing how some people are so good at lying to themselves, but can’t allow someone to say the same lie that they’ve accepted for years. If it was not my intent to hurt you, but when I confess you will be hurt, should I hold you? Is it possible for me to be your comforter at that moment? Should I beg for your forgiveness, even if I have no strength to truly correct my wrong? Just because I disrespected you doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. It just proves that I’m a stupid human.
I may not be able to see it, but to attempt to open up and talk to you will get us to our mutual destiny quicker.
If you know you aren’t going to leave him or her, asking a question that you don’t want the answer to, is pointless.
TRUE THAT MRS. BOT! SAY THAT ONE MO TIME FOR THE CLASS! MY BF ASK ME ALLLLL THE TIME, “WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CHEATED ON ME?”…. WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? I USUALLY RESPOND “2 MINUTES AGO” OR SOMETHING EQUALLY AS IGNORANT AS HIS QUESTION. MY THEORY ON ANSWERING QUESTIONS OF DECEPTION IS… IF I STILL WANT YOU, I CAN’T TELL YOU THE TRUTH OR YOU WILL ALWAYS HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD! I CAN’T TELL YOU THE HALF TRUTH BECAUSE CHANCES ARE I’M GOING TO FORGET WHAT PART I ACTUALLY TOLD YOU. AND WHAT IF I THINK I DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE AND TELL YOU BUT ONE DAY I WANNA DIP BACK? I CAN’T BECAUSE I’VE CLEANED OUT MY CLOSET. SO IT MAY BE WRONG AND SHOW SERIOUS CHARACTER FLAWS BUT THROUGH NUMEROUS LESSONS LEARNED, I WILL NEVER COME CLEAN ON THINGS THAT WILL HURT MY MATE UNLESS I’M CAUGHT RED HANDED. AND EVEN THAT, I’M ONLY ADMITTING TO WHAT THEY SAW…. NO DETAILS!
AS FOR RANDOM DEBATABLE TOPICS… THOSE ARE FOR THE BIRDS! I THINK WE WOMEN NEED TO PICK AND CHOOSE OUR BATTLES A BIT MORE WISELY. SOMETHINGS AREN’T WORTH CRYING ABOUT.
I think you are pointing out the fact that men don’t feel better simply by talking about it. The answer to the question has 100% to do with how they feel. So women need to be better liars because men are more sensitive, or less forgiving…???
Question #2, do women generally prefer the painful truth or a pretty lie when they corner a man with a crushing question? Even though many people think they know the answer before they ask the question.
Since you put it that way, YES! However, I wouldn’t use the word “liars” just “creative thinkers”. The male ego is so fragile we have to be careful with it, as if it was a Faberge egg. So yes, finding a way to creatively keep the ego stroked and satisfy your desires (emotionally or physically) at the same time should be classified as “creative thinkers” not “liars”! I think as women we will say we would like and can handle the naked truth… however, we do better with the pretty lies. I try not to corner a man, you can find out more if you just watch him slip from afar. A person will continue on with a behavior if they think nobody is watching. And possibly even become lazy and complacent therefore showing their hand. My father taught me that. Never scream, never yell, never accuse and never corner a man… it clouds your overall judgment and he will just lie his way out of it anyway! Creative thinking at its best!
I agree with Mrs. BOT:
“If you know you aren’t going to leave him or her, asking a question that you don’t want the answer to, is pointless.”
Very smart by the way.