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Archive for December, 2009


You must be the change you want to see in the world

Quote of the week – Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi - Quote

What is your change? This new year presents an opportunity to start anew. Many of us do it every year, many fail every year. The same ole vicious cycle of mediocrity, procrastination and hypocrisy. This website is devoted to personal change. As Gandhi has stated, if you have a problem with the world, stop contributing to that problem. Act.

I hope that this site has assisted change in many of you. The interaction on this site has created enormous change within myself. Though my goals are not yet reached, I’m headed in the right direction. I thank everyone that has inspired my change.

2010 represents the manifestation of a beautiful rainbow caused by the turbulent storms of 2009. I plan to realize my place as a family man, publish a book, and start a major African American movement. I hope you all support the movement and the change that you want to see in the world.

Happy New year


Traditions represent values – Happy Kwanzaa

kwanzaaIf we are to improve and strengthen our families, we must be conscious of how we interact as a unit.  One of the two effective ways to monitor that and make changes for the better is to institute a route of family interaction, such as family dinner time, or lunch after church.  The second way is by instituting family traditions.  If you think of how your family interacts during special times of the year while taking stock in the value of each tradition, you may find room for improvement.  


One of the major things the Black community lacks is leadership.  This starts in the home, and normally with the man.  If a household has a man, and no rich traditions that bond the family members emotionally, who is at fault?  Regardless of who is running the household, someone should step up and get everyone’s full participation in traditions that have more positive affects than negative.  Each tradition should have more than one purpose.  Traditions should be symbolic in nature, thus be of deeper meaning than “that’s the way my grandmother did it”.  So if you are the leader of your house, what are your children going to do with your grandchildren due to your conscious effort to pass down rituals that assist in your grandchildren’s feelings of belonging and worth?


dr-maulanaCreated in 1966 by Dr. Maulana Karenga, Kwanzaa is an African American and Pan-African holiday celebrated by millions throughout the global African community.  Celebrated from December 26th to January 1st, its purpose is the reaffirmation of the dignity and integrity of the human person and his community and culture.


Kwanzaa is an example of traditions that far outreaches just individual families, but Dr. Karenga’s purpose is to reach a world-wide community. Kwanzaa was created to introduce and reinforce seven basic values of African culture which contribute to building and reinforcing family, community and culture among the global Pan-African community. See the “Celebration of Kwanzaa” link in the right margin of this site.soul-food3


So I pose the questions to the head of your family, what traditions does your family have? Are any of them more harmful to the diet or longevity of your family? Is there room for improvement? And whose job is it to make these changes?


Santa Clause, I want…

santa-mrs-pantiesWhat do you want for Christmas boys and girls?  This is a time of holiday cheer and joy to the world.  Yet this can also be a trying time for people.  Many of us get depressed during this time of year, either due to the association of a bad occurrence in our past, the fact that the season brings expectations that we feel we are not equipped to partake in, or maybe we don’t feel that we deserve to be happy.  So we psychologically feel the reverse. Bah Humbug!


Shake it off.  Get over it.  The only thing between you and happiness is you, so get out of your way.  Our society has developed colors through lights and costumes, sight through decorations, smells through evergreen coniferous trees, and taste through holiday feasts.  All this tantalizing of you senses to get you in the mood to forget your problems and focus on family, friends and giving to others.  Or spending your money to make this economy go round.  So reassociate good times with this time of year.  Remember, money is not always required, love will do just fine.  I won’t even talk about the birth of our Lord and savior, except for a quick reminder to the Christians, don’t loose sight, keep praises within your traditions.santa-gift


So what do you want for Christmas?  Love, peace, a new car, a new husband, jewelry, a power tool or your two front teeth?  How about this request, HONESTY?  But be careful what you ask for, you just might ruin next years Christmas with the association of the truth that you wished for.  You may want to save the honesty for New Years, so you’ll have 365 days to digest it.  For now, ignorance may be bliss.


Merry Christmas everyone


I pray that God comforts your heart

I pray that God comforts your heart, eases your pain and guides you to the best understanding for whatever you may be unclear about. I myself lost my mother at a much younger age and I find myself getting mad at her because she didn’t disclose to me a lot of pertinent information that would  have been advantages to me as a young girl entering adulthood, a world of deception, greed, hidden agendas and…… well, I also acquired  (with maturity) the understanding that, she did the best she could with what she had, what she learned, how she was raised and the people she kept in her company. I still love her, miss her and wonder what kind of relationship she and I would have today, as adults. Your openness made me cry, but now I’m smiling becuase I know that we both will have peace regarding our mothers.


Signed: Sistah Love


To understand how any society functions you must understand the relationship between the men and the women.

Angela Davis


What is a father-less woman to do?

father-daughter1111Thanksgiving began with our usual family gathering of me, my sister, brother and his wife and their daughter, my mother and my newly added husband and stepdaughter. This is the first time we’ve all gotten together since my wedding last May. This year my big brother, who during my childhood was the man of my house, decided go around the table and recite what we were thankful for. He told his 8 year old daughter to begin. ” I’m thankful for my mommy, daddy, auntie, grandma,” etc. After dinner we proceeded to the living room to watch a movie, the usual after holiday dinner ritual.

father-daughter2I turned to my mother and asked if she could pull out the only picture of my dad. Since my father left my life at the age of four, I wanted to show my husband a photo of the man that until recently had not been on the forefront of my mind. My mother brought it out and she went back to her bedroom as I showed my new family my only image of my father. This picture has been the only image that has remained in my head all these years. Staring at the photo, I realized that I really didn’t know what my father looked like. My mother reappeared 10 minutes later with 3 photos of my father that I have never seen before. I stared at the photos for some time and marveled at these new images. I tried to conceal my emotions and reaction so that my mother wouldn’t catch a glimpse of my disdain.  I took the photos and placed them in my purse hesitantly and discretely so not to let my mother notice.         Read moreRead more


By viewing sex merely as a bodily appetite we are trivializing sex, which in turn trivializes our own humanity.

Celina G.