My Friend Natalie – Family Stage Two
Originally published 10/22/2008
It was a rather hot day in July 1992, I was discussing life with Natalie as we sat in her car on the campus parking lot between classes. We philosophized and propagated the meaning of the universe. This was an interesting time in my life, due to the fact that I was to become a father at any moment. My pager was on high alert with a fresh battery.
Later that night, I got the page…1911… I took a cab from my buddies house, I can’t remember why I didn’t have my car. Two day’s later I awake with a cramp in my knee and pride on my face and my first born asleep upon my chest. I gently kissed his forehead and handed him to his mother and told her I’d return to the hospital to take her home in four hours.
As I sat in English class everything felt surreal like I was there, but I was not there. I could hear my breathing, I could feel my heartbeat. After class I had a few hours before having to be at the hospital, so I sat in Natalie’s car again and coincidently had the same conversation as just a few days prior. Once we concluded the conversation, Natalie said “Do you realize that all your responses within this conversation were totally different from the ones that you gave just two days ago?” I paused and reflected, “Yeah you are right, it’s like the sun no longer revolves around me anymore. It revolves around my son now.”
Natalie and I are still friends to this day. She now lives in Atlanta with her husband and two twin children. We just spoke today and she told me that at her children’s fourth birthday party the twins were arguing before the happy birthday song. The argument went something like this, “This is my birthday cake! No it’s not it’s my birthday cake!” back and forth, on and on. How cute, next year… two cakes for the babies.
About eight years ago I attended Natalie’s wedding. She married the most terrific guy, Ron. I’ve forgiven him for asking me and a few others to help them move, and he barely lifted a finger, except to point to where the furniture was to be placed. He is an attorney with practices in two states. Natalie herself has two jobs. That’s a lot of two’s, including the twins. Yet what makes this story about Natalie is that she is dealing with some life threatening health issues, two of them. When I got the e-mail from Ron that the surgery was a success on the second ailment that I previously didn’t know of, I was floored. I couldn’t fathom the courage and resilience that lives in their household. But I respect it by sending prayers everyday and trying to live my life according to all blessing bestowed on us all.
Many of my female friends from the past have had difficulties regarding family and men. Yet I’m so happy that Natalie has found a real man to stand tall and strong along side her. These times are when we are tested, we grow or we crumble. When you are picking a partner to be with for the rest of your life, think about to what ends of this Earth you will walk to uphold your side of the deal. Remember the shoe often changes feet.
If you are not willing to be “the one” for the person you are with, make sure you get out of the way for “the one” to take the position that we all may need to rely on at some point in our lives. It is difficult but spiritually, you must be cognitive not to block anyone’s blessings out of selfishness.
In this country healthcare is a major issue. This site will be addressing the topic of healthcare in America soon. Health issues can be by random selection, it could be self-inflicted or inflicted by the negligence of others. 
Regardless of how the situation presents itself, we may find ourselves staring at a hospital ceiling contemplating things deeper then the mundane. Our spirit may be in jeopardy, our family may be in jeopardy, or finances may be in jeopardy. The foundation of love and support from people who truly care for us is all that we may have to cling to. Heaven forbid this situation happens to you, but if it does I hope you have the right people to love you to health. Please take a moment to count your blessings, kiss your loved ones, and say a prayer for Natalie.
Peace, wealth and health
what are you talking about!!! I did more than lift a finger!!! I lifted my toe also!!! Get it Right!!!! Thanks for the love and congrats on crossing the threashold with B- See you in ATL
I think it was very good. It shows how much you have grown and really matured over the years. I have always respected you and admire your desire, search and quest to find yourself and become the best man and friend you could be.
I approve of the story.
Thank you for the inspiration. I love you both.
This story gave me this question. How will you know when you have found the one? Someone once told me not to worry about finding the perfect match but just focus on being the perfect match.
Being the perfect match doesn’t mean being willing to jump through hoops for someone to prove you are worthy of their affections. Being the perfect match means you have your sh-t together. You have a plan for your future professionally and spiritually. Know what path you are on, and as you are dating you are slowly revealing your path and focus to a person. You need to make her fall in love with and buy into your plans. She should dream your dreams and see her place within it.
Never put a woman before your dreams. She can cling to the attention and drive you into a faulty relationship. You’ll end up with a pissed off woman who thinks you are a failure. Women love a man with a plan, they stick around and put effort into a relationship they have to rise to. Don’t let them tell you anything different.
During the early dating period you are interviewing her. You want to see if she is receptive to traveling that path with you in a supportive roll. If she doesn’t seem to be able to value your goals, then she is not the one. As well, you want to be able to commit to being that supportive one for her in her goals. If she is going East and you are going West, don’t waist time because she is “soooo fine”. If you both are headed in similar directions in life, ask her out again. Many people have sketchy plans that are not well thought out. Many of your conversations should be helping her with her plan development. You have to balance being her encourager, her cheerleader, but not her boss or coach. It has to be her plan, you guide her to think about it, but you don’t tell her what to think.
What ties it all together is that you both support each others passions without sacrificing your own. Many sacrifices end up being the death of a relationship. When it is working you’ll both feel as if your plan is stronger and more attainable with that mutual support. A good woman make a good man great. Then you will know that she is “the one”, happy hunting.
YEA, I’M GLAD NATALIE IS OKAY. BUT I KNOW THE FEELING TO BE PROUD THAT YOU HAVE A CHILD OF YOUR OWN THAT YOU YOURSELF CAN RAISE THE WAY YOU THINK IS THE BEST POSSIBLE. I LOVE MY BABY GIRL MORE THAN I THINK ANYONE CAN IMAGINE. THAT WAS REAL THOUGHTFUL AND OPEN HEARTED TO WRITE THIS WITH ME IN MIND. I’LL KEEP IN TOUCH. ONE OF THESE DAYS I’LL BRING MY DAUGHTER BY SO U CAN SEE HER.
I am so impressed with your website. I want to get involved in your Lean on Me foundation. Even though I am in Geogia. I am currently back on on disability due to my health issues. But this is not a deterent for me and I refuse to be defined by my illness. I want to live to the fulliest and give back to others.So many people are suffering and without hope. I guess being a buddist for 20yrs has really helped me develop my compassion for others. You have to leave this world betteroff then when you were born into it. Just some thoughts. I am so grateful for friends like you. Please vist the ATL.
I absolutely adhore, cherish, and Love my Fiance, Will for walking with me through my medical illnesses and being willing to choose to stand next to me, even when it’s hard. REAL MEN will! I thank him for not thinking that I am a burden on him,… but that I remain THE ONE he wants to marry! I love you Baby and I can’t wait to walk down the aisle and be with you!
You are absolutely a delight and pleasure everyday we are together, no matter what is going on! As our time grows, I so treasure loving you since the 7th grade!