Comments on: Ms. Independent – “Size does matter”

By: Elisa

Elisa — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:53:32 +0000

Stroking my mans ego…check! Putting up with him bitching…gotta go. Will I tell him his arms are bigger than they are, complement him when his outfit is ok but make him think his swagg is hittin, tell him how much I appreciate him and rub him down…absolutely!!! Will I constantly listen to him complain that his little wee wee isn’t big enough, he doesn’t make enough or he didn’t grow up with his mom so he doesn’t know how to love…uhhhh no! There are differences between stroking your mans ego and not being able to tell who the female in the relationship. I have no problem stroking his ego, that helps me get what I need and want. Independent woman, fine but I don’t believe women should ever NEED a man or make significantly less because then it puts the womans back against the wall. I’ve been there and its not fun. I’ll be independent but there are certain things men are built to do and I am going to stroke my mans ego so he does them eagerly and with honor. I think most women would like a package that can fill her up but “oh baby” can quickly turn into “wtf” so size really isn’t everything. This is given I can tell his package from an infant! So I think independent women can coexist and find a man to share a life with as long as she understands that certain gender roles can not be ignored! Make him feel like your king as you expect him to treat you like a queen!

By: Kev

Kev — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:39:27 +0000

Manhood vs. Ego… hmmm, us men don’t use the word ego when we speak about ourselves. Ego has a selfish ring to it. We use the word manhood becuase it represents who we are to the world. We can’t let that standing be threatened. If we use the word ego and divide what we do between Manhood and Ego may be a very helpful perspective. At least my girlfriend agrees. I’ll try it, but if it gets me in trouble I’ma let yall know.

By: Claudia

Claudia — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 20:46:48 +0000

I think, in general, men do understand the difference between egoism and
manhood. However, it takes the right man that will apply, and live by,
the attitude that exudes manhood.

Good luck on your quest.

By: J Harris

J Harris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:01:58 +0000

DEEP. So the key for us men is to better understand the difference between ego and manhood. I’m sure most of us do not. Maybe upon reflection of past situations we can label the acts from ego and the acts from manhood. I’d suggest that manhood is expressed through acts of empowerment of people around us, while making them feel good about us. Acts from Ego may not take others into consideration, and if we are lucky, makes us look good (temporarily). It’s a tough balancing act indeed. Any men out there have any suggestions on how we can accomplish this?

By: Lady Che

Lady Che — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:28:44 +0000

Yes, I definitely am a self described INDEPENDENT WOMAN! Why? I don’t like to subject myself to control by others, least of all a MAN. I am self-governing , not looking to others for their opinions or guidance and I desire my FREEDOM!

MANHOOD is nothing more than the condition of being a human being, an adult male with manly qualities. With that said WOMANHOOD is similar in definition. So in my mind it’s not a woman’s independence verses a man’s manhood, but rather a woman’s independence verses a MALE EGO!

The problem begins with the male ego. It’s his individual self-interest that actually motivates his conscious actions. When he feels threatened, self preservation kicks in and he will deny, lie and tear the woman down. It takes a strong man, who is strong in his manhood and keeps his ego in check to deal with a strong, independent woman. Men should not try to limit our independence and women should not tear down a man’s ego. The relationship should be big enough for both.

I do agree, however, that some highly independent women tend to be less willing to stroke her man’s ego (manhood if you will, although stroking that can be a very pleasurable thing) and let him be the man in the relationship. That’s when a woman needs to check her ego at the door. Strong women don’t want punks, a man she can rule over. There is no challenge in that. What we do seek is someone who will challenge us, step up and kindly keep us in check when warranted. We must keep each other in check! In a relationship it’s not always about being the man or the woman, but about being WE! US!

We need to learn to release the power struggle between us and learn to love and respect each other more in our relationships. What happened to HONESTY and TRUTH! Trust me, any man who wants to control or have power over an independent woman will lose every time and the relationship will crumble.

I AM a self described strong, independent woman, over 40ish++, never married and no children. I love me and the woman I have become. My strong belief in God, family and close friends have contributed to my womanhood. However, in all my independence there is one thing missing from my life and that is the love and commitment of a good, strong, independent MAN who has his EGO in check, will allow me my freedom and who won’t try to control me. I’ve been close, but in the end his ego won!

I know how to let a man be a MAN. I love having a strong man in my life that makes me feel safe, secure and loved in every way! So, I lift him up and stroke his ego, not tear it down. You ask “What is wrong with these men?” The answer – EGO! Men let their ego control their manhood!

When I find that man who can set aside his ego for the good of US, then I will have found my husband!

Yours in independence, harmony and the power of God’s love,
Lady Che