Ms. Independent – “Size does matter”
Michelangelo's David
Originally published 3/30/09
Men need women for one reason only, that is to stroke their manhood. Manhood in a broader sense than just anatomy. The definition of an independent woman and the definition of Manhood are different for each person. Yet as a couple, the two definitions must be agreed upon through discussion and practice. This is what makes good matches last. After the relevance of exterior beauty fades, two people must agree on what limits her independence has, as well as how large is his manhood. Size does matter, every woman wants a man with a huge manhood. Every man portrays a huge manhood, even if he is lying to himself or the world. Sometimes in the heat of an argument a woman will swing a low blow by questioning a man’s manhood,
“Just be a man and tell me the truth!”
He thinks, “What? First of all, you don’t have a clue as to what manhood is” She thinks a “real man” would just fess up to his wrong doing, or automatically know when why and how he hurt her. For self preservation, men often deny that doing wrong is a negative reflection of their manhood. In actuality, he may have cheated on her or disregarded her feelings for the paramount reason of proving to himself that his manhood is strong. These incidences are when stark contrast are evident and must be hammered out between the two. Yet to preempt these arguments with a continuous conversation to better adjoin definitions will stave off a few miscommunications.
Highly independent women tend to be less willing to stroke, what they perceive as shrinking manhoods. Their strong ways leave them less opportunity or less necessity to do those things that build men up and allows him to feel good about his role in the relationship. This is evident when men are threatened by a women’s success. He feels she may not need him as much and this translates into his perception of less manhood stroking; he feels emotionally neglected. If my wife received a promotion that increased her income to 40% higher than mine, will I feel uncomfortable? I say no, but men will not admit to this very often. According to my many interviews with women, many men respond negatively to women’s bold exhibitions of independence. There is a point where a woman’s drive and success become uncomfortable for the “average” man. Some men’s manhood becomes threatened when a woman is reluctant to sit back and
“Let me handle this situation, woman”
and a power struggle ensues. This often marks the beginning of the end of the relationship that is slowly dying on the vine. As her confidence, income or education increases an “average” man may respond by doing things that take away from his image in her eyes. She watches his manhood shrink. No woman wants to stroke a small manhood.
We can’t isolate people according to their views or definitions, but we can categorize people according to their current situations. So if we ask women that are 40ish+ that have never been married nor have children, we may be able to have a dialogue that sheds light on the ability to stay true to the higher standards that they deserve. Many 
lesser women settle for less and live in regret while having children with the wrong man. Many of these women soon learn the importance of recapturing and embracing their independence.
So if you are a self described Independent woman, 40ish+, never married, with no children I beg the question: “What is wrong with these men?” Please comment and let us know how you’ve managed to maintain a high standard and not settle on the inadequacies that are out there? Yet if you are an independent women who once lost your independence and allowed the wrong man in your life, please share your enlightenment so that we can all see.
Yes, I definitely am a self described INDEPENDENT WOMAN! Why? I don’t like to subject myself to control by others, least of all a MAN. I am self-governing , not looking to others for their opinions or guidance and I desire my FREEDOM!
MANHOOD is nothing more than the condition of being a human being, an adult male with manly qualities. With that said WOMANHOOD is similar in definition. So in my mind it’s not a woman’s independence verses a man’s manhood, but rather a woman’s independence verses a MALE EGO!
The problem begins with the male ego. It’s his individual self-interest that actually motivates his conscious actions. When he feels threatened, self preservation kicks in and he will deny, lie and tear the woman down. It takes a strong man, who is strong in his manhood and keeps his ego in check to deal with a strong, independent woman. Men should not try to limit our independence and women should not tear down a man’s ego. The relationship should be big enough for both.
I do agree, however, that some highly independent women tend to be less willing to stroke her man’s ego (manhood if you will, although stroking that can be a very pleasurable thing) and let him be the man in the relationship. That’s when a woman needs to check her ego at the door. Strong women don’t want punks, a man she can rule over. There is no challenge in that. What we do seek is someone who will challenge us, step up and kindly keep us in check when warranted. We must keep each other in check! In a relationship it’s not always about being the man or the woman, but about being WE! US!
We need to learn to release the power struggle between us and learn to love and respect each other more in our relationships. What happened to HONESTY and TRUTH! Trust me, any man who wants to control or have power over an independent woman will lose every time and the relationship will crumble.
I AM a self described strong, independent woman, over 40ish++, never married and no children. I love me and the woman I have become. My strong belief in God, family and close friends have contributed to my womanhood. However, in all my independence there is one thing missing from my life and that is the love and commitment of a good, strong, independent MAN who has his EGO in check, will allow me my freedom and who won’t try to control me. I’ve been close, but in the end his ego won!
I know how to let a man be a MAN. I love having a strong man in my life that makes me feel safe, secure and loved in every way! So, I lift him up and stroke his ego, not tear it down. You ask “What is wrong with these men?” The answer – EGO! Men let their ego control their manhood!
When I find that man who can set aside his ego for the good of US, then I will have found my husband!
Yours in independence, harmony and the power of God’s love,
Lady Che
DEEP. So the key for us men is to better understand the difference between ego and manhood. I’m sure most of us do not. Maybe upon reflection of past situations we can label the acts from ego and the acts from manhood. I’d suggest that manhood is expressed through acts of empowerment of people around us, while making them feel good about us. Acts from Ego may not take others into consideration, and if we are lucky, makes us look good (temporarily). It’s a tough balancing act indeed. Any men out there have any suggestions on how we can accomplish this?
I think, in general, men do understand the difference between egoism and
manhood. However, it takes the right man that will apply, and live by,
the attitude that exudes manhood.
Good luck on your quest.
Manhood vs. Ego… hmmm, us men don’t use the word ego when we speak about ourselves. Ego has a selfish ring to it. We use the word manhood becuase it represents who we are to the world. We can’t let that standing be threatened. If we use the word ego and divide what we do between Manhood and Ego may be a very helpful perspective. At least my girlfriend agrees. I’ll try it, but if it gets me in trouble I’ma let yall know.
Stroking my mans ego…check! Putting up with him bitching…gotta go. Will I tell him his arms are bigger than they are, complement him when his outfit is ok but make him think his swagg is hittin, tell him how much I appreciate him and rub him down…absolutely!!! Will I constantly listen to him complain that his little wee wee isn’t big enough, he doesn’t make enough or he didn’t grow up with his mom so he doesn’t know how to love…uhhhh no! There are differences between stroking your mans ego and not being able to tell who the female in the relationship. I have no problem stroking his ego, that helps me get what I need and want. Independent woman, fine but I don’t believe women should ever NEED a man or make significantly less because then it puts the womans back against the wall. I’ve been there and its not fun. I’ll be independent but there are certain things men are built to do and I am going to stroke my mans ego so he does them eagerly and with honor. I think most women would like a package that can fill her up but “oh baby” can quickly turn into “wtf” so size really isn’t everything. This is given I can tell his package from an infant! So I think independent women can coexist and find a man to share a life with as long as she understands that certain gender roles can not be ignored! Make him feel like your king as you expect him to treat you like a queen!