I love my daughter’s step-mom, we are like sisters

9 out of 10 people will be shocked to know I’m a step-parent to my ex-husbands children.  How’s that?  He and his 3rd wife have her son, our daughter and their daughter under the same roof.  I know you’re wondering why is your child under their roof?  Simply because I never wanted to be married or have a child for that matter yet having a single mother of my own her fears came into play.  She felt the need to have me married so that I would be taken care of and well, back then “only if I knew what I know now,” right? 

 

I know saying that I never wanted a child sounds insensitive but the major and most sincere reason my child has lived with her father since our divorce is because he offered “family,” when I had none.  By the time of our divorce I was estranged from my mother and my father was nowhere to be found, leaving me without a village, so at the time I felt it was the right thing to do and at this time in my life it’s the most unselfish act I ever did and I’m extremely proud that I did it!  You may not see it that way but think of it like this, our children are not dysfunctional people as some would say the dysfunction accrued when I divorced her father.  Most importantly my child has never been physically abused as I was as a child (cycle broken-check).  Our children understand the importance of a blended family.  I see it like this, in our history we heard of slave families trying to stay together during such horrific challenges yet the strength to get through it all once separated was the “blending of families.” This included a blending of love, respect and pride and mostly the security that you would be cared for no matter what situations arise.  This is everything we have taught our children.

 

Example: If my ex-husband has issues with the children we come together as parents, even if it has nothing to do with my child.  We talk it through until we find resolution.  We have taught the children to admit if they were wrong and we follow that with forgiveness.

 

To sum it up, I’m in love with my child’s life, for she lived how I wish I had.  I also love her mommy (step-mom) as I love myself; my child’s mother!  This woman came into my child’s life wondering “what baby mama drama am I going to have to deal with,” so as a woman she approached me asking if we could talk, and we did.  14 years later my child’s step-mom is my dearest friend, “my sister” and because of whom we are as women, mothers and parents our children are mentally, physically and emotionally healthy.  Every parent shall hope for this outcome regardless of being a traditional or blended situation.