jealous crazed maniac
Speaking of jealousy, last year I broke up with my girlfriend because of her jealousy. The thing that broke the camels back was when I was taking the trash cans out to the curb and I accidentally dropped the can and all the stuff came out. When I was scooping the trash back into the can I saw a piece of a familiar picture. I looked closer and I saw that this girl had found my stash of my memories and ripped them all up. I mean, she took scissors and cut and ripped all the pictures of me and ex-girlfriends, cards, letters. She cut up a few pair of panties and a robe belt that belonged to an ex-girlfriend that died in 9/11. That set me off. She was the jealous type, but it didn’t bother me too much because I never did anything wrong. I felt over time she’d trust me. But looking at all my memories scattered on the street, I felt violated, by a crazed maniac.
If she would have confronted me about having the stuff and we argue about it, I would understand. I’ve had that argument before about my “shrine” as my other ex-girlfriend called it. But they are just a part of my past and I simply want them. But I guess her crazy ass put an end to that. So I ran in the house and called her to come over to my house right now. When she got there I had all her little stuff that she left at my house sitting in a plastic bag on my porch. I was done, and have not spoken to her since yelling out of my window that day.
What’s wrong with memories? Are we supposed to purge ourselves of all the stuff of a relationship when it is over, or wait until we are forced to do so by some new relationship? It’s not like I had pictures pinned up around the house or nothing.
No one can remove the experiences and the memories from your heart and mind. To discard someone else’s artifacts doesn’t remove those feelings. But I assume people want you to relish in the glory of your combined future and not dwell in the past life. But we have to admit, when and how a person deals with and lets go of their past is a personal issue. But she took it upon herself, and that sounds wrong to me. Now if she was living with you or married, she may object to having such stuff in the house. Then you can put it in the garage or storage. But without discussion and compromise, issues are not effectively resolved. This is the core issue with the emotion of jealousy; there is little room for discussion and understanding prior to emotional flares. You have to decide where the line is drawn in the sand regarding tolerating such flares. She went way beyond that point, and I would have reacted just like you did.
You had old panties though? That’s probably what set her off. Any women out there with similar experiences or opinions of your man having ex-girls panties?
I think memories are great because they may remind you of the good times but also the course of events that caused the split initially. A bad relationship is almost like child birth, you know and remember it hurt and maybe even swear to never do it again but over time we forget about the pain and don’t mind reminiscing of the positive. There isn’t anything wrong with reminiscing about events that may have impacted your life but you do not need the “artifacts” to do so. Personally, I do not think a mate of mine has kept any other womans belongings but I’m not a snooper either. So they may have a shrine of panties and I may never know. Panties, I may be LIVID but one this is for sure, I will not act a plum fool and cut anything up. That will only cause him to cling to the memories even harder and maybe even try to re live what you took from him. Every action deserves and WILL trigger a reaction.
Look at the positive, at least they are in a box stored away in the garage and not in sniffing distance!
Never ever knew of any panties but I have tossed a box of old love letter. Three men later and still haven’t confessed. Men don’t like angry women, I don’t like to show I’ve lost control.