Guilt versus Remorse
Is there a difference between the two? Here’s my take on it and its relevance to self-reflection. Guilt is usually associated with a persons actions. Regardless of the outcomes or surrounding circumstances, a person may feel guilt for living a certain lifestyle, or for some act that they have done in the past. In contrast, remorse is a negative feeling brought by the reaction, response or outcome of a person’s actions.
The reason why we should examine the difference between the two is when we look at our lives and try to implement change for the better, it is best that we understand our actions, where they come from and how they affect us emotionally. This will put us in a better state of mind to successfully evoke personal growth.
Meet Terrie, she has been a weekend drinker for over ten years. She get’s through her week by looking forward to her weekend drinking, or “partying” as she refers to it. She enjoys drinking and she associates no feelings of guilt to drinking. She currently may have a tough time stopping this activity as she is very accustom to it and uses it as a coping mechanism for other stresses in her life.
One weekend, she is driving home from her local watering hole as she always does. This time she comes across an unexpected bump in the road. As she sobers from her drunken state she comprehends the magnitude of an occurrence that night that left a young pedestrian dead from her irresponsible actions. Now Terrie has remorse that she can attach to her pattern of drinking that may aid in her change.
Meet Louis, aka: Lou Dog from Eastside Crips. He has been conditioned to act tough and be cold and callus. This guiltless attitude is a part of the gang culture that is required for that lifestyle or “hood life”. Lou Dog has done many drive by shootings with not feelings of guilt, but on one particularly warm summer night Lou is forced to pull out his 9mm hand gun due to a threat from a rival gang member. Lou shoots at his target but misses and fatally wounds a 5 year old child that was standing behind his intended victim. The single shoot causes everyone to scatter, leaving Lou and the profusely bleeding child alone in the park.
For 20 seconds Lou froze and stared at what damage he had done, he is snapped back into motion by the scream of the child’s mother as she races towards the expiring child. Lou finally runs, but is forever changed because he is unable to shake the emotion of remorse that haunts 
him. Louis has an opportunity to effect change in his life, not because of shooting, but how his shooting can affect others.
Actions without guilt or consequence can be challenging to change. Yet we should not await a remorseful outcome before we focus on change. Good luck to us all.
What comes to mind is how drug dealers sell drugs to their own community with no guilt or remorse. Families just fall apart. I guess there is no room for guilt and remorse when you are trying to get your grind on on these streets. Yeah, no guilt. Drugs, gambling, robbing, cheating. How do we fix this problem and instill that moral conscience over and above the basic need to feel like a man and survive?
Sociopaths do not feel remorse. They don’t follow the social norms and understand guilt or morals. Those things are not in their make up. However, the typical human being understands and will coexist in a progressive society and is able to detect right from wrong and apply to their daily routine. I do not believe one is unable to feel guilt neither remorse but is the overwhelming feeling of each which makes us ignore the impact of knowing. Therefore perceived to the naked eye as unable to connect with the feelings in entirety!
Elisa, I shall hope you are correct. If there are those feelings there that are just ignored, change is to tap those feelings. But for those whose moral compass (which is not a standard) has no development of guilt, they’d have to focus on other ways of building self control.
Self control is difficult enough for those of us who consider ourselves typical (with out any chemical imbalances). Hence, giving way to the worldly images of society. However, those of us who may not be starting with a full six pack… only hope at self control is through a higher power. At least that’s my take on it, could be el wrongo!
I’m 60 years old, and I can tell you that I’ve felt guilt while doing my dirt, but I still did it anyway. I think we all have guilt, it’s just a matter of if the fun feels better than the guilt feels bad. Remorse feels really bad. It is reoccurring when you see her going through that feeling that you let her down.