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Archive for October, 2009


Consciously grow together, or you will subconsciously grow apart

arm-wrestle-1Often times our relationships get boring and monotonous.  This can lead to the death of something that could have lasted forever with a bit more effort.  What steps can we take to prolong relationships and protect the security that we seek?  Below I’ve listed a few hobbies that you and your love-one can get into together.  This builds strength and ensures that you grow together, not grow apart.  


Remember, when you were single you wanted someone that could bring quality to the table.  Just because you now are at the table with someone doesn’t mean the time to bring quality to the table has pasted.  That concept is a continuous process of adding what you bring.  Now you both can bring similar experiences together in order to keep it interesting and fresh.  


skydive3For me, I surprised my wife with a jump out of a perfectly good airplane.  The video is hilarious.  Another example is that she is currently in school pursuing her Masters in Psychology.  I read through some of her text books.  We often discuss our opinions of the concepts and theories in the books.  We don’t want to get so far apart in our berth of knowledge that we can’t relate to one another.  So as she expands in one era, I follow.  Besides, I want to see the reverse psychology coming as she tries to pull it on me.


Do you have any experiences or ideas on keeping it fresh and interesting as you grow together? Read moreRead more


A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right

Thomas Paine


How do you determine your self-worth?

ballinballerI push a ’09 SLK. I got a big house on a hill. I’m stacked and packed long and strong. If I quit my job right now, my income would still be 6 figures. I have double Dee’s, I have pretty eyes and sexy lips and I know how to use them. Everyone wants to be me or be with me. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard. I am an Entertainment lawyer. My dad is a CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation. My husband is a professional football player. Read moreRead more


Do you have split personalities?

spilt-personalityMost of us can and do divide our lives into different factions.  You may have a work faction, an immediate family faction, a hanging out with the buddies faction, dating faction, out of the country vacation faction.  Each faction may have a separate and distinct personality.  Cordial and tolerant at work, racist while driving, loving while at home, a drunk maniac while drinking with friends. 


Have you ever thought of yourself as having a Spilt Personality Disorder. SPD can be determined in the average person if they lack a dominant personality that constantly rules over your decision making process regardless of your faction.  This dominant personality regulates stability in who you are.  Without this regulation, each personality can be so different that SPD may be at play. Read moreRead more


Don’t sleep with married men awareness campaign

breast-checkJermaine I commend you for your work with the youth through your men’s group. But as a woman with breast cancer I’m thinking that women need to start similar groups for young women to deter them from giving these married men so many opportunities. Women have so many esteem issues with weight, the media and just getting older and trying to stay appealing to their husbands. If you through a lumpectomy in the mix, life gets mentally draining. Read moreRead more


For Payback to the person to whom he has had that long time relationship let that Bitch have HIM, the life you have now will be hers



What should I do if I feel as if you don’t love me, don’t care about me, and subsequently I am not happy?

whyJermaine, I turn to you as a last resort. I feel that you are very different from my husband so I have doubt that you can understand my position. I feel stuck inside a box that is constantly shrinking. I got married at 20 years old to my high school sweetheart against my parent’s advisement. Just as they said, I am now a college drop-out with three kids.

woman-in-a-boxI’m working on my ninth year of marriage and every day feels like a hard labor sentence. Simply put, my husband has not changed or grown at all in the nine years we’ve been together. I know that I committed to what he was, but I was too young to understand the growth factor. I didn’t know that I’d outgrow him and he’d just stand still and be so content with mediocrity. For example, when I told him that I wanted to move away from the Southside, he said “what’s wrong with the hood?” I don’t want to raise my kids in this environment.  When I asked him what school should I go to because I want to finish, he said “I don’t know, that’s your business”.

My husband has skills, but he only works 40 hours a week and puts in a good 50% effort. Even though he could work on the side or do overtime to bring more money in, he won’t. I make more than he does. The relationship has taken some hard hits, I’m aware of a long term relationship he’s in that we’ve fought over many many days. I almost left him for another man and that got his attention for a while. When I try to tell him how I feel, he shuts down and gets defensive. I don’t know if he doesn’t understand, care or feel if he could or should address my happiness. Since I have three kids with him, am I stuck?

Signed Stuck in a shrinking box,

Dear Stuck in a shrinking box, the question is begged, are people responsible to grow with their partner? Read moreRead more


Mike Tyson – The fight for our Purpose


We are heavily influenced by our environment. The lack of love, the expression of affection, the anger that engulfs our homes can be things that exist that we don’t have control over and often times are unaware of. These things assist in our strengths and our flaws. As we grow older, we hope to identify our character, we may seek the source in an effort to put out fires in our spirit and rekindle positive flames of hope and goodness. As we understand and change course we actualize wisdom.savage-tyson1

An orphan that was taught by older boys in his neighborhood to rob and steel, I gift of violent strength guided him to the infamous Constantine “Cus” D’Amato’s home to hone his skills as a boxer. Cus D’Amato was a stable and unfamiliar father figure that instilled discipline, focus and self-esteem into young Tyson’s consciousness.

Tyson & daughter Exodus

Daughter Exodus

Fame, burning through hundreds of millions of dollars, drug abuse, womanizing, rape charges, prison and the loss of his 4 year old daughter in a freak at-home death, Tyson’s life has been as extreme as humanly imaginable. Through this all he is an example of a warrior of his internal and external demons.

We can not be sure of where Tyson is within his battle, but he continues to exert energies to defeat the wrongs that he and the world have inflicted on him. He fights, I fight, you fight. Let’s not give up our own battles to understand our history, reconcile our present and live for our purpose. Have you identified your struggles, their sources, and your strategy to defeat them? Have you discovered your PURPOSE?


The first question I ask is, “who am I?” …………………… The second question is “why am I?”

Quote: Mike Tyson

tyson1“Tyson had become an example of how one overcomes problems with drugs, a violent past and poor upbringin…He’s tried his hardest, despite coming from almost impossible beginnings.”  

Tyson’s attorney David Chesnoff


jealous crazed maniac

trash-can-curbSpeaking of jealousy, last year I broke up with my girlfriend because of her jealousy.  The thing that broke the camels back was when I was taking the trash cans out to the curb and I accidentally dropped the can and all the stuff came out.  When I was scooping the trash back into the can I saw a piece of a familiar picture.  I looked closer and I saw that this girl had found my stash of my memories and ripped them all up. I mean, she took scissors and cut and ripped all the pictures of me and ex-girlfriends, cards, letters.  She cut up a few pair of panties and a robe belt that belonged to an ex-girlfriend that died in 9/11.  That set me off.  She was the jealous type, but it didn’t bother me too much because I never did anything wrong.  I felt over time she’d trust me.  But looking at all my memories scattered on the street, I felt violated, by a crazed maniac.


mad-scissorsIf she would have confronted me about having the stuff and we argue about it, I would understand.  I’ve had that argument before about my “shrine” as my other ex-girlfriend called it.  But they are just a part of my past and I simply want them.  But I guess her crazy ass put an end to that.  So I ran in the house and called her to come over to my house right now.  When she got there I had all her little stuff that she left at my house sitting in a plastic bag on my porch. I was done, and have not spoken to her since yelling out of my window that day.


What’s wrong with memories?  Are we supposed to purge ourselves of all the stuff of a relationship when it is over, or wait until we are forced to do so by some new relationship?  It’s not like I had pictures pinned up around the house or nothing.