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Archive for September, 2009


No guilt, no regret, not good – How guilt affects lifestyle

man-crying-artGuilt is an emotion that is learned. As parents we must understand how to instill guilt in association of “immoral actions”, such as the church does by way of “the fear of God”. To fear God is to respect him and his power over your soul. People who believe in karma or reaping what you sow, exhibit the framework of guilt. Yet when a person commits an act that is deemed inappropriate by the social or religious group that he/she subscribes to, guilt may follow such action. This guilt may deter such activity in the future, thus creating a relatively harmonious environment. This is also shown in crimes against society that are punishable by the court system. Sentences are partially determined by the accused display of remorse or guilt. Without this, they may receive a harsher penalty.                      Read moreRead more


The Black Family Legacy – Our missing link

mlk21I belong to the school of historical/cultural thought that believes that the civil rights movement of the 1960’s may have advanced African Americans into the mainstream and opened many doors. Yet there was great damage that the movement caused as well. Blacks in this country prior to the civil rights movement had many internal issues to deal with. Yet just as sudden riches will not make life easier, it enhances the happiness or unhappiness of a person, thus too is true of the Black community being given the opportunity to play in the “whites only” league. From the increased ability to sit where we want, shop where we want, live where we want and go to school where we want; all of this has told the Black community that there is no need for a “Black community”.good-times1

Since the early 70’s the Black community has become increasingly concentrated with the lesser of us, as the Blacks that may otherwise be community leaders, mentors and entrepreneurs have elected to assimilate into mainstream in search of more diversity and greater security in the quality of life.

How has this affected the Black family? Well, in comparison of 1969 and 2009, 68% of children were raised by a two parent household, versus 29% now. Out of wedlock child birth grew from 25% to 70%. The marriage rate has consistently fallen while the divorce rate of those who have gotten married has increased drastically. Read moreRead more


Ending Friendships – I just lost one

friends5Lay with dogs, you will rise with fleas.  Birds of a feather flock together.  


“Your child is just running with the wrong crowd.”  School counselors say this to the parents of all 8 kids to make the parents feel as if their child is not bad, but are influenced by “bad” kids. Yeah right.


If you think that peer pressure will influence you to make different decisions, you should be really careful in selecting your friends.  Instead of choosing friends by their looks, status or commonalities, you may want to consider looking deeper at who they are and select people who are more like who you want to be tomorrow rather than who you are today.  I’m not saying get too far out of your comfort zone, but if you are trying to move away from substance abuse, shallow or immoral activities and focus on being more financially, spiritually or intellectually successful, you may want to consider holding your friend selection to a higher standard.boat-fight


You may need to cut people out of your life or at least out of your favorite 5 if they are holding your progress back.  Often time’s people unintentionally do things to sabotage your goals; you may need to dump them out of your boat before you sink.  Be careful, thoughtful and methodical with cleaning out your boat.  This transition can be very trying in the short term, yet liberating in the long run.  Friendships can be just as important as they can be debilitating.  Some people’s seasons pass and you may need to grow beyond what they have to offer. Read moreRead more


The unexamined life is not worth living




No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.

Qoute of the Week 

albert-einstein1Albert Einstein


Recovering ass-a-holic

drugs5booty-callAs I follow this site and read and think about the latest articles on self-reflection I just realized that one of the reasons I smoke weed and have booty calls is because I don’t like to be alone with my thoughts.  I’ve tried to meditate like you suggested, but I can’t stop thinking about the areas of my life that I am messing up on.  So instead of meditating I pick up a joint or the phone.  I thought I did those things because I liked getting high and having sex (especially at the same time), but I think I do those things to hide from the ass hole that I really am.  That’s a deep and harsh reality to face.  I wonder if you have any advice on where I should go from here since you are the one that made me realize this fact.


Signed, Ass hole


Dear Ass hole, let’s first of all change your name to Recovering ass-a-holic, to memorialize the fact that you’ve acknowledged a phase in your life, and you are committing to moving beyond the limits of that phase.  Read moreRead more


If you want him, you’ve got to do something about it

Take one step towards him, he’ll take two steps towards you.  Don’t passively wait, actively seek and ye shall find.


Do not take his mercy for granted



If God came for you tonight

god-visit1If God woke you up at midnight tonight and said “come with me my child”, what thoughts would race through your mind?  He may notice the look of fear brought by the incomplete work you have here on Earth.  Then he’d say to you, “My child get a pen and paper, pick the 5 most important people in your life, and write them each a letter.  If you need, tell them what you neglected to tell them.  If you need, ask them for forgiveness and understanding of your personal deficits.  If you need, express your yearnings of their lives.  If you need, tell them how you really feel about them. 


With an hour of feverish written expression as your tears first fog your vision then drench the pages, you search for the words to express what you thought you had a lifetime to communicate.  Life is not guaranteed, time is forever, but your time is only a blink. What do you express?  


I promise

hopehelpThroughout the past year I have had many victories, struggles and challenges.  I’ve written my feelings for the world to see and express their thoughts. This site is full of promises that I’ve made.  I often times read past entries and am reminded of my path, we are so easily distracted.  If I fall short of those promises I can’t ignore my past commitment because it is just a www. away.  It’s not like a new years resolutions that you’ve forgotten by March, so what, “keep the cycle of shortcoming going.” 


This site is not mine, regardless of the address name.  It is ours; it is our community of communing.  So I thought, there are commentators and anonymous article writers, why not allow them the forum to hold their selves accountable to the truth or lies that they tell themselves?


wind-blowI’m very doubtful that anyone out there is bold enough to step up publicly, but if there are, I ask that you post a paragraph here that expresses a promise to yourself or someone you love.  If you are really bold, use your real name and email your love ones this link, if that’s a bit too much, use an alias. 


Sometimes we need to speak things into existence. Our tongue shall put it on the wind so it will return to us and propel us forward during the storm.