Men Respond – One
I don’t think it’s hard for a man to commit to today’s women I think men in general have to find his equal. Today’s women are very independent and have strong wills, they will not be broken down by any means. I read a few articles on Jermaine’s website from women who answered can you commit to men. It seem like they are dating or attracting the wrong kind of men. A few good men still do exist in this world that open doors and pull out chairs for women.
I think it’s hard for men to commit to today’s women because a small majority do not believe in cooking home meals or do not know how to clean a house. The women of today are focused on what a man can do for them on the 
financial and physical tip. So most men trick off there dollars and get what they want and move to the next women until they find something mutual and physical they like about her. Then he may see if he can work with her and build a foundation. A good example is my fiance told me she went to a ladies night get together and the only thing the women were talking about was what a man can do for them. The exact quote was “if the bills aren’t paid the cooch doesn’t get wet”. I was like WOW, that type of women still exists? But yet they want to call themselves INDEPENDENT…yeah right! I just want to say to all my brothers who do want to get married keep the faith there are some good women left in this world just don’t go to the clubs looking for them.
fiancé
Peace and Blessings
Schakim
THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL of “Ladies Night”…never go back and tell your husband or soon to be husband what is said or goes on! Married people share too much…keep it to ya self girl! Married people should have a “Married Night” where they talk about the monotony of their day to day lives and gripe about Jack and Steve not putting the toilet seat down or “Tom thinks he can fix everything but he can’t…what should I do”! The purpose of “Ladies Night” is to let loose with your girls and be you! The very person or piece of you that you can’t (skeptic to) share with your man! Or get tips from others on how to flip your mans world upside down! Yes, sometimes there’s male bashing and nonsensical statements but that’s no different from a group of males golfing, at the cigar lounge, strip club or watching the football game! Most times its just hot air or an over exaggerated statements, but all in fun! And STOP IT…we all know that all men pay for pussy, ya’ll don’t like getting called out about it but you do! If you are married what do you think you did by breaking your pocket to buy the biggest, brightest ring in the window or the expensive ceremony that society has tricked you into believing “the bigger the better and the more I love her”! When the vowels before God should be the most important part and that takes all of 5 minutes…10 if the preacher shows out! When a man takes a woman on a date and through out courtship…HE TRIES TO IMPRESS AND PAYS… why? The ultimate goal…THE PUSSY! Rather it be for the night or to put the stamp on so all other men know that pussy belongs to him! So the concept of pay to lay isn’t new or a shocker…its the way it was said! But then again…men are not supposed to be privy to what is said during “Ladies Night” or it would be called “Couples Night”! So my point is, just because a woman makes a factual comment amongst her girls does not diminish her quality, net worth or marketability to single male population! Especially when they weren’t supposed to hear it!
Why do married people (couples in general) pillow talk about others love life? Does that help validate and/or solidify the short comings in their relationship? That’s just a question and a whole other topic…but why?
Two opposite perspectives that are based on a cynical dimension.
Men who look to women for the sole purpose of pussy.
Women who look to men for the sole purpose of money.
Most of us are on this dimension at one point or another in our lives. Where our bitter experiences have rendered only juiceless fruit. Yet if we are “lucky” we can see life from a different perspective and see the beauty in a person of the opposite sex beyond the superficial. That is when we open our thoughts, lives and hearts to share our experiences over a pillow.
First let me clarify, I am not a marriage hater…skeptic maybe, but definitely not hater. I actually think next to child birth it is one of God’s most beautiful gifts and one day I hope that I am worthy of such gift. Although my parents marriage lasted less that 8years my grandparents have been married for 53 years! They will be the first to tell you, not all were happy but they pushed through together. Of my four brothers, two of them vigorously cheat on their wives. At times I’ve helped accomplish this and other times not. But none the less it opens my perspective from different view points. Surprisingly most of my friends have already wed, being that we are fairly young. So my point is not to slander the institution of marriage but to ask does the fact that you believe you’ve found your everything give you the right to pass judgment on those that have not? Pillow talk in the private confines of your bedroom is beautiful, as long as it doesn’t put down another while in the process! A put down is self consciously designed to boost ones ego. I am also in a relationship and yes we engage in pillow talk but I try to make it a point not to speak on anyone elses situation or views regarding relationships(especially friends) because I have my hands full trying to keep my own afloat and drama free. The point of view of a woman that is not your wife or soon to be should not bother you to where you down play someones worth or independence. So I guess my problem is with the judge mental undertone of some married couples when they too where in the same situation probably less than 5 years ago! Especially the women snitching on girls night!
OMG PC she didn’t snitch you watch too many videos! She came home and simply said that the younger women of the group didn’t seem to have a clue when it came down to dating. If we want to have pillow talk and speak about what each other did that day, rather it be ladies night or guys night, that’s just our business. It doesn’t mean we lack conversation or respect for other people’s dating life or quote “put down another while in the process”. Please…we are just fine talking about anything and everything that goes on in our lives and I feel it is the only way communication will work in a relationship. My wife to be is very mature for her age and well ahead of the game when it comes down to raising a family, cooking, cleaning and finances. You can call me what you want but for a California women she is a diamond in the rough!!!! I have lived in California for over twenty-five years and never met a women from twenty-one to my current age who has her head on right!! So all this snitching on girls night stuff miss me with that! We are very comfortable with ourselves.
The main point in sharing your life with another person is SHARING. But if you are just casually dating, you may not know about that.
Peace and Blessings
Schakim
Schakim…your response is cute but dude snitching is snitching no matter where and who you share it with. And there’s no need to be so “hot”, its my opinion, that’s it! Opinions are like butt holes…everybody has one and everybodies stink! I’m glad you think so highly of your soon to be wife…that’s wonderful and exactly how it should be! But for you to comment on something that happened at ladies night and use that as your reference to now generalize “California women” is unfair! A better angle would to have praised your wife for all her qualities not point out what you “think” others lack based on one comment! Know what ya say and why ya saying it…that’s all!
What an interesting exchange of ideas, some of which is counter productive but entertaining to say the least. Schakim, I don’t think you realized this but you actually contradicted yourself in your initial posting. In the first line in indicate that you “didn’t think that it’s hard for a man to commit to today’s women I think men in general have to find his equal.” However the first line of the next paragraph you state, “I think it’s hard for men to commit to today’s women because a small majority do not believe in cooking home meals or do not know how to clean a house”. Can you define what you mean by a “small majority” I believe that this is an oxymoron, wouldn’t you agree? Nonetheless, it seems to me that the only women you feel you can commit to are those that believe in cooking home meals or that can clean hours? Interesting I would have though that a modern man would have been past the double standard. Well, I guess some men just aren’t as evolved as I had thought.
I think that it is great that your and your fiancé share things but the fact that she felt she had to share the comments of her friends on “ladies night” is suspect. Why did she feel so compelled to tell you what another woman said? That woman’s statement did not have anything to do with the relationship that the 2 of you share therefore nothing was gained by divulging such information. On the other hand, perhaps this was a way to get you to see how “lucky” you are that she is “not like them”. She criticized the statement of her friend in order to elevate her worth in your eyes. Or perhaps she is jealous or threatened by this woman for some reason and is making sure that you have negative feelings about her as she knows how you detest gold diggers. The real fact of the matter is that you only have one side of the story…the one that she chose to tell you.
Women, like men, get together and often brag AND complain about those things in their life that are most affecting them at the moment. Whether it be their job or relationship, etc. I agree with PC, most of what is said is not as factual as it seems. Perhaps this woman said those things and probably even meant it at that time. But how do you know she didn’t say that because she is tired of having to support her “man” all the time and wants her girls to think that she’s got it like that. Hmmm…sound familiar? This would be the equivalent of a man telling his boys that he doesn’t have to check in with his girl and he will come home when he feels like it because he doesn’t want his boys to know that he really gets nagged by his woman about staying out too late.
Bottom line the only thing gained by her telling you what was said at ladies night is unnecessary drama. You will have a negative attitude about this woman and before you know it this will be the source of tension between the 2 you. You’ll complain when she hangs out with this woman and she will think you are being ridiculous. Been there done that…believe me over-sharing can be as detrimental to a relationship as not sharing.
B.A.W.B. you can agree with whoever you want that’s your business. But again you and P.C. both do not know her to judge her. It wasn’t any of her friends who made the comment so she’s not threatened. It was a general topic on dating and you don’t know me or her to say it will be tension down the line in our relationship. Also on the cleaning and cooking topic I said she can do that and handle finances. It’s a rare comodity in today’s women to get the triple threat, now if women are claiming to be so independent most likely they would have all of these attributes already. I will give you one thing and that ‘s about me saying its not hard and then saying it is hard in the next paragragh. This is me responding to a email I recieved about the subject and I rush to do it. I am DONE with this topic next question over from the left please.
Peace and Blessings
Schakim
I don’t know why yall are being so hard on schakim…he just a man. But even if he did respond to mr.harris email quickly he just got confused cuz like every other man he too dumb to know what he really want to say. But I agree with yall, that woman is suspect. Her girls should ban her butt from girls night cuz she caint keep no secrets. Yall sharing alright, I bet schakim don’t be telling mr.harris or his other friends business to his girl. Dudes don’t share they just get all the info to use against they girls. I do think they should be able to share in they bed just not friends secrets. Thts not cool.