Can you relinquish your power and submit to a man? Part IV
You asked me if I had any tips or concerns about the difficulty in giving up power to a man I may move in with…..
CONCERNS:
I don’t have many concerns about giving up “power” because if I choose to move in with a man, I would be 99.9% certain it he is the right man for me AND MY DAUGHTER.
See the fact that I have a teenage daughter makes decisions such as moving in with a man much easier for me. Why? Well, at this point, I don’t see myself moving in with anyone. Building a relationship with a man takes time. How long? I can’t say at this moment but thinking logically, I see several months of dating non exclusively followed by several months of dating exclusively. How much time is that? Six months? Two years? Four years?
If I take my scenario to four years, that would be around the time I would be sending my daughter off to college. In that case, the dynamic of choosing to move in the a man would form a different set of difficulties to ponder over.
So let me just fast forward to when my daughter leaves for college….
I see myself well established in my career. Financially stable with sound investments. Educationally fulfilled (to the extent of attending a university on a regular basis). Socially– friends and family around me. Social calendar filled with an array of events.
What is missing? A quality, handsome, Single man to share my life with. VERY IMPORTANT COMPONENT.
Now, I’m made up of many self-sustaining characteristics. I can do a lot on my own. Something I can’t do on my own is provide the necessary testosterone which can only come from a man. Seriously! I mean, the deep voice, the strong hug, the height and depth of his manhood, the security I feel walking next to a man I know can handle his business! Mmmm mmm mmmmmmm
Being an old fashioned girl in a lot of ways, I strongly believe a man is the head of the household. However, I also believe not all men who have the ability to produce sperm will make good fathers. I have been taking care of myself for a very long time. Life’s responsibilities have been solely on my shoulders not only for my life but for my daughter’s life as well.
A sista is TIRED!!! I don’t believe our lives are meant to be that way. Women are made with an innate ability to support, sustain, uplift, motive, nurture. This is what we do! On the other hand, I believe a man is the counselor, provider, protector, disciplinarian, warrior, comforter. He is strength and power. The leader. The final decision maker! That’s what a man is…
I revel in the thought of having man I can come to for advise. A man that is mentally strong who knows how to make good sound decisions. Someone who will not allow all the hard work I’ve done over the years to be flushed down the gutter into a mass of funky, disgusting, nothingness. For the state of a relationship ultimately falls on the head of household! Awesome responsibility!
Which leads to my concerns….
I would be extremely disappointed in myself if I allowed myself to be deceived by a man who puts up a front as if he was ready for that kind of responsibility. As I work everyday to develop a discerning spirit, I also know there are hustlers out there who workout everyday developing their skills. It would seem probable that if you take the time to get to know a man – who he is, how was he raised, what has he been doing with his life, where is he going, what are his goals, etc. – all the answers to these questions would be clear.
I lived with my former boyfriend for three years. Hustler in it’s truest form. I look back on that time in my life and know I did not take my time and get to know him before we moved in together. Luckily my daughter was too young to remember much about him or our lives together.
The next time I live with a man, he will be my husband. Knowing this speaks to the realization that it will take time to know I have enough faith and confidence in this man to “give up power” or I’d much rather describe it as being submissive to him, knowing he will take care of me.
I CAN’T WAIT!!! Where’s my man?