This is a man’s world – Virtue of a Women Part Three
This is a man’s world. But it wouldn’t be a damn thing without a lady’s touch.
We men believe that we run this. Right or wrong, you lady’s allow us that pride. Yet let’s get real with it. When women don’t take a stand, a lot of shit hits the fan. We are nothing until we do right by you. And men are hard headed and stubborn at times, so we need you ladies to keep us in check. With no doubt you collectively have the power, but divided you all fall for some sorry game. You have many sisters holding your cause back. As of lately, your progress has stalled on the side of the road. Professionally you ladies are progressing nicely with the likes of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and the growing number of female CEO’s. Yet personally you suck, no pun intended.
Women on a rare occasion unite with the power of numbers and overcome odds for a singular 
cause. You did it during the Woman’s liberation movement. You did it during the sexual revolution. Even if it is in the wrong direction, when you unite, you move weight. Through your virtue you shall one day unite again and move this land towards its promise. But not until you collectively realize that you do possess such strength. Just as Blacks have struggled with chains that they did not place on their ankles, yet had the key in their pocket for a while now, you too shall discover your key of virtue.
I’m no longer a player, I’ve retired the golden Magnum, so I can speak freely about Women Power. Not to worry men, I will never reveal the deep secrets of the male thought, but why not indulge women with my explanation regarding them? Men, don’t get mad at me, I’ve played the game and I’ve easily won due to the weak attempts you guys have mustered. So if women get stronger, you’ll have to take heed and improve your game. We’ll all be the better for it.
”Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free”
Women use what the have to get what they want. It’s a competitive world out there, and while you overuse what you got, men get spoiled and weak. Trust me, I know. Yet there is another variable on the left side of this equation, which is, you women have to have your stuff together. If we come over your house and it is nasty, that’s a no-no. When a man walks into a woman’s nasty house, he thinks to himself, “if she can’t keep her house clean, what about her ass?” As twisted and deranged as we are we will hit it anyways; we probably won’t keep coming back though. If you can’t cook a brotha a meal, what’s up wit dat? My 16 year old son can cook better then many women I’ve known. I’m not blaming ya mama, but somebody 
needs to get slapped. I’m not trying to be chauvinistic, you don’t have to have any one set of skills, but know that we need a set of skills that complements ours, not duplicates them. However, a woman that can help cut down a tree, or fix a car is golden, that’s quality time wit ya man. Since I can’t get my girly girl daughter interested in home improvement, I’ve taught her that if the men of the house are doing work outside, come and check on them every hour and offer them something to eat or drink, you know, some sustenance. Outside of what a man wants, there is what a man needs, sustenance. Can you provide that?
Let me tell you a secret about my game that was so wicket smart, I was a better woman then most of the women I dated. They’d be blown away by my feminine qualities, which I imagine I got from my woman oriented childhood. But ladies, don’t let a man (especially a real man) out-woman you. Now she’s sitting there looking around not knowing what she can contribute because I got it covered. Then her mind starts to rap around my life and she thinks “I can get used to this”. My thought was, “What can you do for me? Nothing, so just sit back, look sexy, relax and enjoy…………….. Okay, you can go now.” Now I must disclaim that not all of the women I dated were like that. This is why I had to step up my game and settle down for the sake of doing it right. Many women are quality, but it only takes a small percentage to keep men confused. You women need to find a way to check and train those “hoes” that are making it so difficult for all you virtuous ladies.
Think of the three biggest things that break relationships up, then apply them to this article. Let me know your thoughts, am I crazy?
Hoes will be hoes, there is little us women can do about them. You know women don’t get along anyway. The most responsible parties to this problem are weak fathers. If they stick around and show their daughters real unconditional love and support, they will instill confidence and self-esteem. Good daddies are the best Hoe-be-gone tonic…
Emotional infidelity is the worse:
What I’m about to write is taking Mr. Harris’ “Virtue of a Women Part 3, What Kind of Man Are you and I Still Love Women of My Past” all into account. But most importantly an emotional infidelity that could bring a relationship to its knees that is very difficult to survive and forgive.
When I did date while raising my child were always during the day, never at night as I didn’t want to place myself in unwanted situations, I always met my dates at the location as I didn’t want to give out my address, & I always paid for self (Dutch) or you pay this time & I pay the next if the guy was insisted on paying. I moved to Southern California without any family member is what made me become over-protective of my child & me.
I must admit that I didn’t marry a Mandingo type of guy, but just recently I have regrets. I didn’t marry a gay man either, even though I thought he was due to being mild-mannered soft spoken type of guy that I now see as weakness. He doesn’t fit the attributes that Mr. Harris provided now I wish he did. I would agree my husband has some of the ‘old man’ qualities although that was not the reason I said I do.
After a long stretch of being a single, independent mother of one raising my child for 18 years I have accomplish a lot more than some women at an early age; a decent job, house, car and education without the help of any man. I wanted to share romance and not finance. I married for love & thought I was getting love in return to only be bamboozled. The signs were all there & it’s my fault that I ignored them because every one isn’t perfect including me. I do have an “old soul” & I have posted myself around wisdom, mature, positive environment that were of older people that I adapted well with.
The man that I married & I were friends for 6 years before being asked out on a date. We worked at the same job, but it was only once every quarter we saw each other during the All Employees meetings. Although I had a crush on him all those years he never knew because he was a married man so he was off limits to me, as I don’t do M&Ms (Married Men). I was hesitating on going on the 1st date not wanting to cross to the other side as I enjoyed the friendship & nothing else. The day of the date I told myself to ditch the date to only find him waiting at my car after work. I was surprised & upset at the same time.
I married in 2004. I’m dealing with an emotional infidelity that I find harder to forgive than an actual physical affair. In the beginning I was adamant of what I wanted and didn’t want in a man. I shared my aspirations & goals in life that were initially greatly supported by him to only turn out to be all lies. I would have to agree with Mr. Harris on the fact that “love without deep consideration can get into a situation that fades to black like a sunset”. I too had placed my husband’s qualities on a very high pedestal & was fulfilled in my marriage even with the big age difference & thought no longer do I have to step on stones. However, I did not take Mrs. Harris’ statement into account, “placing my all into someone that must provide essentials that are needed to gain access into my soul”.
It was 2006 when I learned of his emotional infidelity with his ex-wife. He blamed that his 30 year old son was the cause of his reaching out to his ex. He also blamed my ambition and pursuit of education. They were all cop out excuses. But what hurts the most is that I tried my best to make him feel comfortable in my home. I added his name to the house & bought him an 2005 S500 to only have my hard work thrown in my face at the time I’m was supporting my sister and her child when she was diagnose with a terminal illness. I received no support from him. Perhaps I can attest to Mr. Harris’ saying “that I overused what I had and spoiled him and made him weak”.
Though I may have gone through this during a non-opportune time it has done nothing but made me stronger. The house will probably be sold as I can always get another. After reading Mr. Harris’ part three episode of the Virtue of a Women, I did pick up something to add to my list of future prospects especially the part about men having some characteristics to cook & clean without duplicating.
So to those who wonders if there can be love after moving from heartbreak, I can say yes, but make sure the closet has no skeletons & that the backyard has no buried bodies. I will focus on self and get back to dating when I’m ready. I’ll add someone when he’s ready, and not a moment sooner.
A letter from a man in turmoil.
Dear Love,
I am trying to understand your perspective despite the difficulty and near impossibility of you understanding mine. Yet the bottom line is that I must attempt to reassure you that I am still committed to you and this marriage. I have no intention of letting this thing fail. There is nothing better for me than what I’ve collected in this house right now. I want this, and I must acknowledge this fact. Yet the fear and inadequacy is still there. It is still within my being. Do I fight? Everyday I do. Do I win all battles, no I do not. Is bringing you into my daily struggle the answer? According to you in some twisted way that I can not see, you believe so. To me it is an internal battle that I must wage on my own. To bring you onto this battle field makes me feel as if I will definitely lose you. If you see me for the real, true and imperfect Jermaine that I am, your vision of a man will blur as you look at me. You may look at me with distain and view me as weak.
My main reason for having a woman in my life is to help me feel like a man. Without you I am less. With you, I have the opportunity to test my manhood. So some days I do not fair well on my exam. So what shall I do with this need to do right by you on one hand, and on the other, the demons desire to do emotional harm and force me to fall short of my duties? Just the mention of it makes my stomach turn as I know that you do not feel well in receipt of these words.
As I searched for answers through out my life I’ve found little to no grand examples of a man loving a women through out history correctly. I have no real life roll models on TV, uncles, friends, nor strangers. Am I trying to fight a loosing battle, probably to no avail. Time will pass regardless of my successes or efforts. So I strive, I fall and get back up time and time again. You have the choice of helping me up, or stepping on me on your way out of the door. I guess my hope is that you are strong enough for both of us, and that extra strength holds us together opposed to tearing us apart.
Do I deserve you?
Your response to my issue was exacting for me to understand, however, it is the other half who needs to get it. I had mentioned your website in the beginning of your class because I was amazed. I also showed him what I had posted and your response. Since then he took it to a whole nother level. Let’s just say he’s looking for something to pin on me in order to get the monkey off his back. Why do some guys do that? Don’t answer that, as I already know the answer. Just know there is a big lack of communication that is another issue. You did strike a cord for me to make a decision to deal with reality, but I find the older I get the more I take others feelings into consideration versus being the curt person I use to be. Or is it my pride? I’m very private at work and at home, and this is an emotional situation for me that no one seems to understand my feelings which I opted to not speak to others about. However, I am finding writing about it seem to help some. So thank you for taking the time.
Just note when I read your response if only it had came from my other… even if it was to only sooth me would have helped.
For you to be raise by women you sure got it together from what I can see. He too was raise by women, but everyone’s outcome is different and no one is perfect, even me.
Woman of Virtue- It’s Never Too Soon
As a young girl my mother taught me self-respect, self-reliance, self-esteem, self-motivation, etc…Growing up, I began to feel like I was fulfilling the standard that she set for me at a very early age which naturally became apart of me.
After I married and gained biblical understanding of a Woman’s role in the family structure, I became quite confused. I never thought the standards she used to shape and mold me would make it extremely difficult for me to be the woman that God intended for me to be. There was so much “self” in me that things became all about self. The nurturing attributes came naturally, however the quiet, gentle spirit and submission did not. I became conflicted and confused with my past and my future at war.
I came to realize that all the things that my mom so adamantly instilled in me, should not have hindered my ability to submit, but with leaned balance it allowed me to hold the position of a quiet, gentle submissive woman while maintaining my self-respect, self esteem and self-motivation along the way because it take a confident woman to hold the position of a virtuous woman.
I challenge all women to grow their daughters up with a balance in understanding that while they pave their own lives with the qualities that brings confidence, to also consider the qualities to compliment a worthy man they’ll one day need to stretch beyond their individual person and become a family. We should not be so difficult to submit ourselves as the matriarch of the family to which we inherited.
Are you crazy? Unsure! Are you possibly missing a very important notion to your concept of hoe’s vs virtuosity? Probable!
If using what you have to get what you want is classified as hoish then the world is impacted with hoes, both man and woman! A woman should be allowed to liberate her pussy and let her sexuality be free such that as a man. I feel if she desires the encounter than it is sexual freedom, perhaps the man should step his game up and not allow the woman to con him. And J, plenty women feel the same way you did (since you’ve handed in your card)…lay there, look sexy, moan for mama…ok you can GO! But that same woman or man that treats that random thrill they smash with such disregard, will treat another with all the respect in the world! Its a cold game out there but as much as men hate to admit it…us females are stepping our game up as well. So you don’t have to give up the game…we’ve made our own! Personally, I will smash what I want when I want because at the end of the day, I am confident about my sexuality, personality, intellect and what I have to offer any man I WANT to offer it to! Some are just not worth the effort! Why herd the ass when its wild and untrained? (YES men are like donkeys) Some stimulate your mind and some stimulate your pussy, when I find one that does both I’ll entertain revealing my virtuosity! Until then…divide, smash…conquer!
“Liberate the pussy!” Hey as a man, you got my vote. As a father who suddenly sees the light of his legacy, I change my views on who is truly the boss in a relationship. This article was to point out the power you women possess. Consider these two possible uses for good and two possible uses for bad.
Good#1 – Liberate the pussy and let if flow like chocolate rivers from the paramount of Mt. Breast. We will swim in it and bask in its glorious power.
Good#2 – Use it to whip a man into shape. Let him taste the juice and smell the herb intoxing. Then make him honor a commitment to be a better man, father and provider, becuase you are more than a hole…right?
Bad#1 – Fuck man 1, I love you daddy…Fuck man 2, I love you big papa…Fuck man 3, I love you Pookie…Fuck man 4, I’m pregnant, I need $125 from each of you now. The man you end up with probably doesn’t want to deal with your emotional and vaginal scaring.
Bad#2 – Throw it at any dude that has a bomb tatoo on his muscle ripped chest and 22″ rims on his Escalade, lives with his momma and has 6 women just like you. Have his baby and visit him in jail as if you didn’t see it commin. You owe more to your child. God gave you the power to bare child for a reason, don’t waist that talent.
I love liberated pussy, just keep the common sense and condoms close and the emotions out of it. If you can fuck 100 people and not let it back fire on you when you are 40, more power to us all. It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t get none. My hats off (on) for the liberated pussy of the world.
I am completely aware of the point made in the article. However I was addressing specific comments made regarding a woman virtue and “hoe” behavior. I don’t believe in the word “hoe” as a woman’s pussy has been oppressed by social constraints and one sided views of discretion for centuries. Thus when I say liberate my pussy and let my sexuality be free, I am not speaking in quantity but freedom of choice and desire. A woman that is able to rise above the pessimistic views of “hoe” inspired behavior, yet still able to liberate her pussy definitely posses the intellect and self respect to keep “condoms close and emotions out of it”. Although your Good and Bad are humorous I understand what you are attempting to convey and I could not agree more!
Yes I like the term ‘Liberate the Pussy” way better than “Embrace your inner hoe” I will never use that term again.
Lol I’m 100 percent with on this one man. I need a gps to guide me to all the liberated pussy of the world. Does liberated mean free?
Not only are you the King of Mandingos (dicks) you’re the fucken president of the He-Man Woman- Hater Club (episode of the Little Rascals). Why you are even married? Who you need to be married to is Manuela= your hand!!!
What the hell did the women in your family do to you man; did they sodomize the masculinity out of you? Where do you come off claiming “Women use what they have to get what they want.” And like men fucken don’t? Are you forgetting about certain parts of a penis which are the superficial dorsal vein and superficial external pudendal vein- keyword “superficial”. In addition to the cars and trying to make it rain dolla dolla bills and flashing the bling- bling. Shit if that’s not an erectile dysfunction. lol
At this point black men should have their own fishing network channel and you should be the host ; you all seem to know well enough on how to reel in a woman, right?
OMG… Why am I even letting you get to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then you talk about our home and how we can’t cook and to top it off how nasty we can be; did you forget while typing this blog how to use the universal statement “SOME” as in logic? If you find nasty women, look in the mirror my brotha you are who you attack and if anything I blame those nasty women’s parents (yes I blame their mama). My mama damn sure had me keeping our dwelling and my ASS clean to boast. Furthermore my mama taught me to cook and what she didn’t teach me I surely learned from cooking network channel.
You my friend have come across the type of women in your life that have you super mo’fo JADED underneath the surface of your male Marilyn Monroe exterior. You must have come across the Boxing Helen type, the type that are shelter from the world and culture. My question is to you is, did you ever take any of those women you dated to the LACMA? (I can almost hear you say NO)… lmao
Any`hoe, I’d like to correct you typing error, you mentioned you’re not trying to be chauvinistic, please not only do you see women as dumb you think we’re stupid too? Honey you’re coming off very opinionated about us- hence chauvinistic… Ultimately, I have never allowed a man to “out –woman” me so be lucky we’ve never met in person J Harris. Had we come across one another, I can honestly determine these blogs wouldn’t have your coming off so cynical. I have apathy for you and I so dislike apathetic people! =)
What?
To say the least, there are a minimum, two types of women.
1. The wifee type with virtues
2. The not so much
Now I’d venture to guess the first of these women would agree with me that there are women out there that are messing things up by making it too easy for men to stick and move, having superficial exterior qualities, but no internal essence.
I also would think that the other women may have an issue with this article.
You should not get mad at me because I understand the difference between the two and you do not.
Are you serious, is that your reply? How minimal is that! Did you think tying (emphasize trying) to hit me below the belt in regards to questioning my essence would hurt? NOT!
One would claim you’re taking all I had to say like a typical man; lying down. Whereas a woman of virtue (such as myself) would take it standing up. Your blows are like dust to the wind, Harris. When you have actual merit, credit and the concept of knowing what it is to be a virtuous woman (other than expressing simple male life experiences with ALL SORTS of women), I can then fight a good fight; for now I can appreciate this opportunity in expressing my opinion to your blog!
I did not completely address your comment because I feel that the average reader will be able to see right through your rant as your personal issues are apparent. So the question is, how far do I indulge you as an individual and check your thought process and still be somewhat politically correct? If you’ve gotten to be this old with no concept of your shortcomings, I will not be able to make you see them with one comment.
Given the fact that I know who you are, I can get really direct and to the point of what I see as your problem. It becomes more and more apparent to me every moment we are in contact. Give me permission to do so and I’ll let you have it on this site. But don’t think I’ll accept any vengeful negative repercussions from you. The choice is yours.
Now remember that a degree in Economics does not equal a degree in Psychology but if you feel empowered by the few Psychology Today articles you’ve read– have at it! You hereby have my permission.
It doesn’t take a PhD. in Psych to recognize “Bitter”. If you ever genuinely wanted love, and have not been able to capture and maintain it and find a pattern of men being interested in you for a limited purpose or a limited amount of time, you develop a realistic sense of value. If you are not satisfied with that level of value and you lack the ability to change for the better = bitter.