Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

Dwight Eisenhower

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Men Friend - One woman’s point of view

I feel sorry for the positive man that’s trying to do the right thing! I’m not talking about the playas and the guys that are just doing whatever. I’m talking about men who have been raised to be gentleman with great morals and so forth. They have a hard way to go in a lot in order to have a so called fruitful life! Here’s what I mean.

Let’s look at the female: First of all, the woman had better be “The Bomb Woman”. She should be not only a lady but become well rounded in conversation, in the kitchen, the bedroom and be the envy of her man’s friends. Many women feel, “well I’m Pretty that should do it.” Not So! Read the rest of this entry »

Relinquishing power to a man

Thank you lady’s for taking the time to write in on what it would take for you to relinquish your power to a man.  The reason I asked that particular questions is that no matter how you view relationships, rather it be one dominant and one submissive or a 50/50 situation or you do you and I’ll do me;  I believe that a power struggle will inherently happen.  I also believe that men will eventually want to take the reins in a relationship regardless of how it started out.  In addition, a woman will eventually want a man to step up and be strong.  Hence a majority of successful relationships will have to battle and conquer this topic in one form or another.

In my relationship it is my job to eventually know my significant others perspective of idealism.  Through trial and error this will certainly surface.  Yet if her feelings and desires contradict what I want or what I feel I can live up to, I may start to tune out parts of her argument.  Or justify my shortcomings in an effort to find comfort with my inadequacies. 

Your writings have reminded me of the commonalities that all women demand.  This let’s me know that my woman is not tripping out and being unreasonable.  The expectations she has will be similar if I were to jump ship and see if the grass is greener on the other side.  It is greener on the other side, if the other side is my recognizing and committing to being that better man, not another relationship.

So I now read each of your entries line by line and contemplate my actions.  Through thought and seeking of others understanding I may better be equipped to grow in a positive direction. 

Your writings also point out the high expectations that you all place on men.  Place the shoe on the other foot and ask yourself, “if I were a man that has had his normal share of defeats, is all this expectation realistic?  Would I be so damn quick to meet a woman and promise to uphold all that “she” deems necessary to define my worth?”

There is a reason why relationships are so tough and rarely successful.  I’m sure we all play a roll in the odds.  I’d love to get men to write in on their views of relationships and hopefully they will do so.

Can you relinquish your power and submit to a man? Part IV

You asked me if I had any tips or concerns about the difficulty in giving up power to a man I may move in with…..

CONCERNS:

I don’t have many concerns about giving up “power” because if I choose to move in with a man, I would be 99.9% certain it he is the right man for me AND MY DAUGHTER.

See the fact that I have a teenage daughter makes decisions such as moving in with a man much easier for me. Read the rest of this entry »

“Are you happy?” - Intently listen & Take inventory

Can you relinquish your power and submit to a man? Part III

When reading concerns from my perspective please take into account my personality. I am by nature extremely nonchalant, liberal person. Thus things that bother me will not cause an immediate reaction but a build up over time. All except touching MY TOOTH PASTE! DON’T DO IT! I try to accept everyone for what they present.

1.                  A personal concern would be my significant other impeding on “my space” . Where will they put their things? Will I have to down size my personal items to accommodate their necessities?

2.                  Personal  (i.e. Toys, text messages, emails). Will he be uncomfortable with my collection of toys? Should I lock my phone or delete text as I read them? My emails, facebook or myspace account?

3.                  Freedom, Do I become unglued if he is out past midnight? Personally I wouldn’t care but should I stake my claim so he knows not to try no funny shit? Is it disrespectful?

4.                  Friends, When do we mix? Is our house a home or party spot? I have a daughter…it’s a HOME!

5.                  Finances, is he responsible? I’ve learned not to ask a man what is in his pocket, but also EXPECT for him to hold his side down. Or whatever arrangement we have.

6.                  Gender Roles, as liberal as I am, the one thing I am true to is gender roles. I believe men are bread to do certain things as well as women. I’m not a man and I WILL NOT act like it…but I WILL support you in your efforts. I don’t do trash and anything to do with the car (not even gas)…but cooking and cleaning go unsaid.

Miss Nonchalant

The thing I like most about being on stage is making people happy, cause I feel I’m here on earth for a reason. And I think it’s my job to do that.

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Can you relinquish your power and submit to a man? Part II

This was a difficult subject for me to write about because most of the men I know have allowed the women in their lives to be head of household.

Men aren’t really raised to take control anymore, and women are raised to be independent. So this topic is almost obsolete.

However, I still see the value in allowing a man to be head of household. There are about two or three women in my life who are in marriages where their husband has practically all of the power. Although, the “Strong” women in my family ridicule the women in these types of marriages, their marriages seem to be working. It is also part of God’s original plan to have men as head of household.

Here are a few challenges that women are faced with during their quest in finding a man who they are able to give all power to: Read the rest of this entry »

Those good ole days seems like so long ago, I thought you cared about me then but now I don’t know. Was there ever any love at all?

Did you ever love me

 Deborah Cox

Can you relinquish your power and submit to a man? Part I

By giving “power” to a man I may move in with or marry do you mean he is the head of the house and has final say over all financial decisions and family matters? Do I move in with him because I married this man or just cohabitating? Am I financially dependent on him? The answer is NO. This does not sound like the ideal man for me. Where’s the compromise? No person should have POWER over another person.

At this stage of my life…career oriented, homeowner, financially stable/independent and at the tender age of “40somethin’,” a decision of living with a man would only come after being in a long-term trusting relationship. Whether it be in my home or his home, would take a lot of consideration and here are a few things that I would want US to establish and/or consider: Read the rest of this entry »